I can't believe it's been so long since I wrote in my blog. I'm sure every blogger goes through episodes of don't-give-a-shit-itis...right?
Sooooooo.....yeah. So I've been in a real rut lately, but it's getting better. It just seemed like everything was piling up on me, and I couldn't get out from under it all long enough to breathe. I'm still having car issues. Our money situation hasn't gotten any better. Daltrey is still a little tyrant. My parents are falling apart. But you know what? It's all gonna be okay. I'll live. I always get through stuff...it just takes some effort and a little creativity, right? Wrong. It takes good antidepressant medication, that's what it takes.
My doctor changed my antidepressant from Wellbutrin to Celexa. Big difference!!! The first two weeks were a challenge....to say the least. I was super tweaked out and hallucinated a lot. The tweaking I could handle, but the hallucinations were pretty annoying. First, the carpet in my office hallway was sand. I don't mean that it looked like sand, I mean it was sand. It was difficult to walk through it, and my footsteps even left small dunes in it and everything. Then there was the lovely mall tile adventure. I went on lunch break, heading to El Chico, which is in the JC Penney-anchored wing of the mall. Bad idea. It took me nearly half my break just to get there, because the tiles on the mall floor were each individually attached to 50-foot bamboo poles that swayed to and fro. It took every ounce of concentration and focus that I had to keep from plummeting 50 feet or more. I should've turned back and ordered something delivered, but I was determined to get my enchilada fix. It wasn't so bad on the way back from lunch, though, and as the day wore on the hallucinations were fewer. Next day I had another weird experience with the tiles. On the way to the food court, which is considerably closer than El Chico, I kept having a hard time stepping on the grout lines between tiles. I simply could not make myself do it. It was weird, but not nearly as weird as having the tiles swaying independently of one another. Small victory there, I guess. Anyway, I got tired of the hallucinations interrupting my work, so I decided to take a friend's advice and switch to taking the Celexa before bed. This presents its own set of challenges. If I take it too close to bedtime, the hallucinations are still with me when I get up in the morning. If I take it too long from bedtime, they make it hard to fall asleep. There was a lobster in my room one night. It scurried under my dresser just as I was putting my feet under the covers. I could even hear it clicking its claws at me. But if I take the pills just at the right time, I sleep right through the funky weirdness and wake up in a pretty good mood. I can live with that. In fact, since I started this new stuff, I haven't wanted to kill myself or anyone else in at least two weeks. That can't be bad.
Here's The Crystal Method, featuring Filter, to help illustrate with "(Can't You) Trip Like I Do":
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